After the 20th of January we will offer you political asylum in Nigeria if you pledge to come and make the following investments

Ayo Akinfe

(1) Open an agricultural equipment plant that will manufacture 10,000 tractors a year

(2) Open a hydroelectric plant that will generate 2,000MW of electricity

(3) Get one of the US automobile giants to open an assembly plant in Nigeria

(4) Get a US pharmaceutical giant to open a factory that manufactures the Covid-19 vaccine in Nigeria

(5) You open a food processing plant that processes our cocoa into chocolate

(6) You open an animal feed compounding plant that processes our yam, cassava, palm oil, maize, soyabeans, etc into feed compounds

(7) You open four cattle ranches and get every Fulani herdsman to locate to them

(8) You dredge one of our Atlantic ports turning it into a deep facility that can take any Panamax ship no matter how big

(9) You invest $20bn in Lagos-Calabar and Lagos-Abuja high speed rail links

(10) You take over the Kaduna Textile Mill and turn it into a major global garment producer that churns out designer products

I hope President Buhari is on the phone to both Trump and President Biden now offering them this deal. If Trump agrees to it and pledges to behave himself from now on, promising never to return to politics again, all the charges against him can be dropped and he get a presidential pardon.

Once he signs the deal, we will make a special appeal to Speaker Nancy Pelosi to please forgive him. Just imagine what those Trumpists would have done to Nancy had they got hold of her.

For me, this was attempted murder. Abeg, Madame Speaker no vex.

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