Nigeria’s National Assembly should pass a Valentine’s Day Bill that looks something like this

Ayo Akinfe

[1] Any Nigerian couple who marry from outside their geo-political zone will get a federal government marriage allowance of N500,000. This is to foster togetherness and encourage inter-marriages

[2] All Nigerian girls aged 10 to 21 will be able to get sanitary towels free of charge from health clinics in their local government areas

[3] As from today, February 14 2025, marriage to a minor under 18 will be considered statutory rape, even if no intercourse takes place

[4] Mass marriages will now be illegal. They will be placed with workhouses to employ women with nothing to do

[5] Domestic violence will now carry a jail term of 12 months imprisonment

[6] Nigeria’s Federal Executive Council will be launching a national self-reliance campaign titled: “Anything we don’t produce, we don’t need.” These female workhouses will be central to this campaign

[7] Education will be free up to JSS Three level across Nigeria. Both boys and girls will be entitled to free tuition

[8] Every primary and secondary school pupil across Nigeria will get one free meal a day

[9] Every Nigerian female will have access to free breast and ovarian cancer screening. Males will have free access to prostate cancer screening

[10] Nigeria will scrap all her existing homophobic laws. Sexual orientation is a private matter in which the government will not dabble

Ayoakinfe@gmail.com