I am looking forward to Pope Leo XIV and President Bola Tinubu issuing a joint communique in which they announce that they have agreed on the following course of action for Nigeria

Ayo Akinfe

[1] Pope Leo will visit Nigeria later this year and get the Christian Association of Nigeria and the Nigerian Supreme Council for Islamic Affairs to each commit to attracting at least $10bn worth of investment annually into Nigeria as religious finance

[2] During this visit, the pope will meet with hundreds of Fulani leaders and get them to all commit to the practice of ranching. They will commit to ending nomadic farming and agree to disarm all herdsmen across the country

[3] Pope Pius will also agree to speak with the remnants of Boko Haram and the Islamic State in West African Province. He will tell them that he is not leaving until they lay down their arms

[4] During the visit, the pope will also tell Nigerian politicians to ease their blatant intolerance when it comes to homophobia. Some of the rhetoric we hear is reminiscent of Nazi Germany

[5] Probably most importantly, the pope will use his visit to persuade Nigerian clergymen to use money collected as tithes only for capital infrastructural projects

[6] In addition, the pope must convince Nigeria's evangelical clergymen to combine their financial arms into one conglomerate called Man of God PLC. It should become a multinational manufacturer floated on the London, Frankfurt, Tokyo and New York stock exchanges and act as a bellweather of the Nigerian economy

[7] Pope Leo XIV commits to convincing the international community to step of foreign direct investment in Nigeria. At the moment, Nigeria accounts for one fortieth of the world's population, so one fortieth of all foreign direct investment globally should be destined for Nigeria. This needs to be agreed at G7 and World Economic Forum meetings

[8] Pope Leo should also commit to convincing Nigeria's National Assembly to pass a law making it mandatory that at least one third of all political appointments are female. This should apply to shortlists for gubernatorial candidates too

[9] Of paramount importance, Pope Leo XIV should ask Nigeria's National Assembly to pass a law making it illegal to export primary products without at least adding 50% value

[10] During the visit, Pope Leo XIV should also convince Nigeria's political elite to eschew the bad habit of going for medical treatment abroad. They should be prepared to die in Nigeria if need be

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